Saved from the pain, confusion and sadness of feeling heartbroken. In that respect, meditation worked beautifully. Years later, I came to learn a great deal about my own deeper behavioral patterns, or programming, as I think of it. One thing I learned was that I used to construct, or choose, romantic relationships with women that were struggle-based, unconsciously recreating my earlier home life, itself filled with struggle. The dance that I did with my girlfriend before going to India in 1968 was part of that pattern (see The Beatles in Rishikesh book).

I didn't use Transcendental Meditation for long. Nowadays, I meditate with a different method which I find much more effective, both in the moment and in how it assists me in shifting my paradigms and mythologies from less useful technologies to harmonious behavioural patterns. Now, I no longer construct relationships based in the struggle paradigm, but based in the joy paradigm. It works infinitely better.

After meditating, I return deeply refreshed, connected with my Soul. And in this conscious place, all my worldly problems have a different feel and look. I approach my life from a place of love, rather than a place of fear. And the very positive results directly reflect this. I feel in intimate contact with my Self. Deeply grounded. Balanced. I feel quietly, gently strong. Capable. With the power to go forward, and the intent to do so. I feel light and open. My heart is expanded, not contracted. In this energy I feel joy, and from here it's so easy to embrace others. And from here, it's so much easier to solve 'problems.'

I feel this now, as I sit here, by the water and among the trees in Algonquin Park, writing. Nothing is impossible. Nothing. Grounded, loving energy is such a powerful healer, and tool. Everything can be embraced, worked with, modified, shifted, re-programmed, healed. Fear is the energy and technology of the lower Self. Love is the energy and technology of the higher Self. The Struggle Paradigm vs. the Joy Paradigm. Here, these many years later, more traveled, inwardly and outwardly, with many amazing and wonderful experiences lived, and more to come, this choice between paradigms is the rich and exciting shift in my personal dynamics that started consciously in Rishikesh-in 1968.